“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
What happens when you lose the ability to bring your unique values and skills to make a positive difference in the world?
In navigating the recent loss of a beloved career due to downsizing, one of my most difficult challenges has been the untethered feeling that comes from loss of purpose when working in a field focused on improving patient care.
The pain that comes with any pivotal challenge in life, is more easily born if we believe there is purpose to the trial. I have a few friends who train for marathons and they often groan from the pain of injury and muscle exertion. However, this is easily borne when the satisfaction of achieving a new challenge comes to fruition. If you’ve ever cared for an ailing loved one, you will be touched by the stress this brings, though most would agree that the purposeful act of care meant more to the caregiver, than the pursuit of pleasure at that time. Ask any mother who has experienced labour and delivery, and she’ll agree the outcome was worth the agony.
So how do you find purpose in a season of job seeking or career transition?
Here are a few ways I’ve found helpful to pursue meaning in this season:
Belonging: Study after study demonstrates that without connection, without a sense of belonging or being cared for, we fail to thrive and have worse health outcomes physically and mentally. We are undeniably hardwired biologically and spiritually for this connection. So, what can you do to find connection, even in small moments?
It could mean accepting that invitation to go for a walk, reaching out to a friend to share a cup of coffee, connecting with old co-workers online (even if you don’t feel like it, or feel shamed by your circumstances.) Consider joining a fitness class or art class that gets out from behind the online job sites and focused on practicing something that requires your attention for a short period of time.
As counter-intuitive as it may sound, you can find meaning and belonging by reaching out to others – even if that takes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t wait for someone to do it. It as been the kindness of my friends and former colleagues who have offered to meet, or the act of reaching out to network and gather wisdom and advice, that has buoyed my spirit by keeping me connected to the world outside my home office. These connections have led to other connections. Should nothing come of it, I’ve met more amazing people who have shown me endless kindness and generosity that I hope to repay.
Service: Seeking to give back in small ways can also make a huge difference in building a sense of purpose though shared values and experiences. A small action like hosting a potluck or volunteering for a cause that is meaningful to you, can help lift the isolation, build confidence through new skills, and fill your bucket by creating meaning for others. Planning a recurring event that brings you joy and aligns with your values can strengthen existing or new relationships, build your confidence, teach you a new skill and create new purpose in the waiting.
Perspective or Storytelling: The battlefield of the mind in periods of suffering can be the greatest challenge. I’ve learned how powerfully your internal narrative can serve as an act of destruction, or creation. As difficult as it seems, can you find something positive in your pain? Can you convert what you’ve learned from the pain into growth, rather than view it as a catalyst that breaks you?
The good news is that you have control over the narrative and the experience you create. The choice is yours. Will the experience empower you? Will you draw meaning from this pivotal moment? What will you learn from this experience? Or will you let it diminish you or drive you to despair? I promise there will be moments of both. However, in reaching for growth, in showing up every day, you build resilience and habits that prepare you for future seasons.
Transcendence: For many, traditional ideas of faith are not for them. However, acknowledging something greater than yourself, and aligning your values and strengths, can anchor you when feeling unmoored. It could be acknowledging the breathtaking wonder of nature, or allowing yourself to feel immersed in connecting with Divine love. Sometimes it is a special moment when a friend reaches out and shares that you were in their thoughts. It could be a moment of meditation where you choose to focus energy or prayer on reaching out to someone in need. Can you connect with the Divine through your everyday interactions? In hard moments? In beautiful moments? What can this teach you about surrender and strength?
If this resonated for you, share one shift you are making in these areas as you walk through your difficult season. Can you make it a regular practice to write down your mindful actions? The act of journalling not only helps you unravel pain in the moment, but serves as a collection of learnings that will shore you up for future trials.
Remember: In this season you are being forged. In the next, your wisdom will light the way for others.
I’d love to hear what has worked for you. Connect with me on Instagram @makeoneshift.com
